How to Live Mindfully in 2021

If you’ve spoken to me in the past 7 years, you most probably heard me moaning about London at least once. I’d whine about its miserable weather, unbearable commuting, soulless 9-to-5 office jobs, uninhabitable extortionate rentals and other countless reasons I seemed to never run out of.

So, how could a place I loathed so much teach me anything positive about how to live mindfully?

My not so mindful life in London

When I was little, I was overly obsessed about the English language which I started learning by singing along to my favourite songs while following the lyrics of my brother’s guitar chord books, much like an early cheap-ish homemade version of a karaoke set. My brother’s a massive Queen fan and my parents love the Beatles, so British music was always present at home and it easily became a gateway to all things British: culture, history and humour. Since moving abroad was always on the cards, what better place for me to live than in London, right? Well, yes and no.

Yes because I’ve always dreamt about living there and No because I’ve grown up in one of the biggest capitals cities in the world so, after a 5-year break living the dream in sunny Bondi Beach, moving to another concrete jungle meant to return to a life of things I was running away from: busyness, stress, office jobs and worse, grey skies.

My favourite pastimes then became reminiscing about my time in Australia, booking the next holiday and daydreaming about the day I’d flee London to never come back. But this day, as the next holiday, never came soon enough.

There were, however, a couple of major flaws with these new pastimes which were soon to take its toll on my mental health and well-being. But the penny would only drop a good few years later.

How I discovered mindfulness

Mindfulness is everywhere these days, you’ll find the term on books, beauty products or even in food. It’s become mainstream thanks to the American professor Jon Kabat-Zinn whose scientific research has demonstrated the positive effects of a regular mindfulness meditation practice in medical and health care contributing to its introduction in conventional institutions settings such as hospitals and schools.

Although the cultivation of mindfulness has its roots in Buddhism, it’s a secular practice focused on placing intentional attention in your thoughts, physical sensations and surroundings with acceptance and compassion for what arises in the present moment.

I’ve been meditating regularly for the past decade but only came in touch with mindfulness meditation through a friend, who I also kindly refer to as my guru (she’s also a wonderful coach!). She gifted me this pretty illustrated book called Living in the Moment for my birthday which prompted me to sign up to a course and drag her with me.

Remember a few moments ago when I told you about my pastime issues? Well, I finally came to realise through mindfulness that my misery was mainly caused by two things, either by looking forward to a future event or indulging in innocent happy memories to help me cope with the present whilst running away from it. Aha! It seems quite obvious, right? Well, not so much then.

I remember the lightness I felt when those clouds that had been hovering over my head for years were slowly lifting up allowing me to finally acknowledge the many blessings that had been there all along. And when I finally left London, I did so with a heavy heart.

Mindfulness: whys and hows

I told you briefly how mindfulness impacted my life and, in short, this is what it can also do to yours too: improve your self-esteem, mental and physical health, well-being, focus, self-awareness, relationship, sleep and the list just goes on.

‘Ok, I’m sold!’

Great! Because I’m just about to share with you some of the most practical hacks I’ve been adding to my toolbox for years!

Meditation

Meditation IS the starting point to mindful living. Nowadays, there’s so much pressure from an early age for us to be constantly doing or achieving things, at work and in our private lives, that we rarely take the time to just…be. If you’re new to meditation, you could use meditation apps or start with as little as one minute a day, paying attention to your breathing, bringing your mind back gently when it wanders. And it will wander because that’s what it does! 🙂

‘Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.

Conscious breathing is my anchor.’

    Thich Nhat Hahn

Chores

As the nature of the mind is to wander, it’s very easy for us to start planning our lunch menu whilst carrying out mundane activities. Commit to performing one of these daily chores, like washing your hands, as if it’s the most important thing you have to do. By mindfully engaging all your senses – feeling the temperature of the water, the smell of the soap – the mind chatter will likely reduce because you’re giving it something to focus on and you’re inviting your full body to the experience, not just your head.

Reminders

We do forget things easily so set regular reminders on your phone, watch or Fitbit, have a post-it note somewhere visible like your desk or wear a piece of jewelry that will remind you to take a deep breath in and reset when you look at it.

Gratitude

Even you, Brutus! I know, you’ve probably heard the importance of cultivating a gratitude practice about a million times before but this has been an essential tool to help me live more mindfully. It not only motivated me to be more aware but it reprogrammed my brain to notice the simple and important things in my London life which I took for granted. I don’t use a physical journal but I created an Instagram account to double as one as well as being my creative outlet. Another wonderful idea is to fill in a gratitude jar which works as a great visual reminder to leave it on your bedside table.

Self awareness

‘Know thyself.’ 

I’m a huge fan of philosophy and a very inquisitive person so I live my life by this maxim. I’m fascinated by understanding what makes people tick and by knowing our brainwork, we’re better able to navigate situations avoiding being swallowed away from the now by strong emotions every time. Therapy, books, journaling and, of course, mindfulness can certainly help.

List-making

Why lists? I’m a list freak for a reason – it’s better to take note of things as they arise instead of using energy and attention to memorise them while life’s happening. Simples.

Lists help me keep me present in life and at work (Check my working from home tips here). I really like some of the Bullet Journal concepts, although I don’t use the actual thing and when on the go, I use Google Keep.

Physical exercise

If I had to recommend a type of exercise to you, it’d always be Yoga because it’s a moving meditation that works the body and mind at the same time. However, I know some people don’t like it so any activity that wouldn’t make you mentally or emotionally strained like swimming, walking, jogging or stretching can be very beneficial.

Nature

Take the tree-hugger within you somewhere it can appreciate the wonderful works of Mother Nature as often as it possibly can. It doesn’t need to be anywhere fancy, a park or a garden centre will do just fine, as long as you breathe some fresh air and soak up in nature’s beauty and healing powers.

Find your flow

Do you dance, paint, sing, bake, knit or do anything else that you enjoy so much that it makes you lose track of the time? These are known as ‘flow activities’ that get you fully immersed, energised, focused and, surprise! present.

Minimalism

I believe that living mindfully and living like a minimalist go hand-in-hand as when we start being more intentional with our choices, we make space for what’s essential and meaningful, being them relationships or things.

Name it

We spend most of our days looping through repetitive thoughts, to-do lists and worries of some sort so whenever you feel these spiralling out of control, take a deep breath and name the things you see right in front of you: ‘There’s a white table with two chairs and a colourful rug underneath on my right and a door on my left.’

Wah? Yes, you read it right! I challenge you to try this wacky exercise because just the mere act of getting out of your head by noticing what’s around you will pull you back to the present moment.

Be uncomfortable

‘Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!’. How many times have you heard this as a kid?

We’ve grown up learning that certain emotions should be suppressed and, since no one likes being uncomfortable anyway, it’s just logical to slowly disconnect from them. Only that discomfort is an unavoidable part of life, whether we like it or not.

I can’t tell you how many times I felt uneasy while writing this post and then reached for my phone to gain that false sense of relief. But by avoiding my anxiety, I ended up with anxiety AND frustration because I was now procrastinating.

The exercise above ‘Name it’ can also be used with your emotions as they arise. When you say to yourself ‘I feel anger’ or ‘Here’s Stressy Betty again’, you separate from your emotion and take the role of a curious observer instead, reducing their power momentarily.

Create solutions

In my years of long commutes in London, I would always read, listen to podcasts, do online courses or even meditate during my journey, that is, when managing to get a seat. Did it make me love commuting? Hell, no! But it certainly turned into a much more positive experience than just me hating every minute of it.

Less social media, distractions or multitasking

You know the drill here.

A more mindful you

Start small by picking any exercise from the list and try it for a few weeks. Taking notes – mental or physical – does help you track any changes, insights and challenges you face.

I do hope from the bottom of my heart that my journey inspires you and that my humble contribution can be a helping hand in your own journey on how to live more mindfully.

These are the books that have been essential to me in the past decade and taught me a lot about mindfulness directly or indirectly:

And these are some of my favourite tools as mentioned above:

Please do get in touch with any questions or feedback and remember to approach life with compassion and curiosity from moment to moment to moment for which is all there is. <3

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